Well, there it went. Right down the drain, just like so many others. I have a lousy track record for friendships. I just can’t seem to get it right. You think things are going good and poof, they blow up in your face. I’ve always considered a good friendship not to have boundaries. But I sure was wrong on that idea.
The idea that a friend was there no matter what, or that a friend would understand or care about what was going on with you, just became my ideas. Not anyone else’s. I guess I’m just too old fashion. I believe with all my heart, love the same and try to be a friend as well.
I finally allowed myself to try again to have this type of relationship with someone, and once again was shot down. I forgot that their life has it’s own querks and that I must remember that there are boundaries, to a friendship. I guess I think that everyone has the same ideas, and values that I do.
Heck, I also forgot that this is a diversified world of people, who have been raised in different environments, than me. Who did I think I was to be so selfish as to think everyone could think and feel like me? I’m so out of touch with reality, that I actually tried!
I’m sure it will be a long time again, before I’ll do that same thing. I don’t like being treated with disdain and talked to in such a horrible manner. So, to protect myself from such candor, I will go back into my safe shell and stay there. It’s much safer inside and I can like myself anyway I want to. Darn that sounds childish. I guess there’s just been too much rejection in my world, for me to be able to cope very often. I can’t accept making the effort and having it thrown back at me, like a bad piece of meat. So, I’ll just stay the heck out of everyone’s way and make my own way.
Just another day in paradise.
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